The middle (and in all likelihood the second) child is influenced by his elder sibling. Their bull-in-a-China-shop approach doesn’t always endear them to others. They are often boys who have the drive, but not the skills, to be effective leaders. These children are assertive, achievement-oriented and strong-willed. The second types of first borns are the aggressive movers and shakers. Parents often rely heavily on their first borns and let them take much of the responsibility around the home. These compliant nurturers are more likely to be girls. They also like to look after and care for other children. These children love to please and also love to do well in school as they have a high need for mum or dad’s approval. The first are the compliant nurturers and caregivers. He will point out the failings of the second born to his parents.Īccording to Kevin Leman author of The New Birth Order Book there are two types of first borns. The first-born child does everything in his or her power to retain the favoured first position. You can read the headlines: “The emperor loses his crown.” Well not quite. To the first born, the arrival of another child means only one thing – DETHRONEMENT. To parents, the arrival of another child means a playmate for their eldest. First borns usually don’t react well to the arrival of the second born. Parents are usually hardest on their first borns in terms of discipline and they loosen up as they move further down the family. This is first-born thing.įirst borns are trailblazers for parents and for the children to follow.
These kids drive their parents and teachers nuts as they just won’t move out of their comfort zones to take a few risks and even (shock, horror) mess up. Interestingly, some first borns confuse excellence with perfectionism and won’t try unless they can do the perfect job. First-born boys fear failure so they often steer away from areas where they can’t excel. It is no coincidence that anecdotal evidence suggest that first born males tend to be lower risk-takers as learners than girls, or those in other birth positions. The expectations are high for first borns, particularly first-born boys, so pressure is something they know all about. The flipside to this adulation is that first borns are coached, prodded and pushed to perform.
They are the centre of attention, which is an obvious plus if you are a first-born child. Names are chosen half way through the pregnancy and photo albums are filled as baby’s every special moment is captured on film. There is an air of expectancy even before their birth. Parents and grandparents often overdo everything with first borns. They are usually the objects of great delight in a family – they are the first. First borns are born into a pressured yet treasured position. They go for jobs where determination, strong powers of concentration and discipline are valued. A greater percentage of first borns end up in the professions such as medicine and law. First bornsįirst borns are often more motivated to achieve than later borns. If your child is an only child, they share similar birth order characteristics to first borns – they are super first borns. If we look at the big three in birth order – first, middle and youngest – we will notice that children born in each position share a similar set of characteristics. In order to really understand children it is useful to look at how their position in the family impacts on their development. The effects of their birth position have a significant impact on children, their behavior and their personalities. While they may be born into the same family they are not born into the same position. They also come from the same genetic pool yet they can be so different in personality, interests and achievement. How can two or three children in the same family be so different? They are brought up in the same broad social environment, under a similar set of rules and an identical family value system.